For some reason I don't feel like the same person anymore. I'm doing things that I would never do. Things that I'd never think that would happen, at least right now. I'm changing, my life is changing so fast right now.
I spent the night at Paul's Friday night. First time I've ever been at a boy's house, alone. I lied to my dad and told him I was spending the night at Krystal's. I'm starting to lie a lot more, even before I met Paul. I don't like lying, but sometimes I just don't catch myself in time.
Back to Paul's house. I don't know how to talk about what happened, I just feel weird talking about it. Let's just say I did things that I've never done before, and he did things... that never happened to me before. Yeah. Maybe some day I'll be able to talk about what happened, but right now it's just too new to me to describe and feel open about it, even to write about in my diary.
He said I was beautiful. Even after he saw all of me. He's crazy.
When my mom picks me up, I'm going to tell her about my grades. I'd just be digging a deeper hole by not telling her. I just hate when she starts telling me that I need to start working, yada yada. When she just doesn't get it that if something is boring, my interest in it just grows even more low. Blah.
♥Norie
p.s. I'm still a virgin. But last night Paul was scaring me about.. maybe something happening that night, and I could possibly get pregnant. Now I'm just really scared. Can I get pregnant if it's the day after my period? Maybe I'm just making too big of a deal out of it. But I can't get pregnant... I just can't.
×Hates×
Violence. Drugs. Alcohol. Insecurity. Summer. Annoying people.