Just looking at the screen is making me sick. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve felt like this for the past week, and it’s not going away.
After spending time with Enew at the mall, and it was a pretty good and successful day too, I find out my uncle [dad’s side] David died. I… didn’t know how to act, because Enew was right there when my mom told me, and for some reason I don’t like showing my emotions. I was shocked at first. I don’t even know how or when he died, though. I figure it must be drug-based, because some months back he attempted suicide by swallowing pills, or something of the sort. My uncle David was pretty rocky these last few years, since his wife died. But I remember him being so… energetic and happy. He had a girlfriend, and then he ruined that about a year ago by assaulting her. I wonder what went wrong. Maybe he felt guilty about my aunt’s suicide. I’ll never know. It’s just… weird, thinking that I’ll never be able to see him again.
I hate death. It’s just another thing that I don’t know how to cope with. I can’t cry… for some reason it’s hard for me to cry when someone dies. Is that a bad thing? And my mom makes me feel guilty and confused about saying how I’m probably the only person my dad has, and I wish I could just go and give him a hug, but I have to wait for Saturday night. And we’re going up to Bellingham to see family after Christmas.
What should I do?
♥Norie
×Hates×
Violence. Drugs. Alcohol. Insecurity. Summer. Annoying people.